Mindset Challenge

These past two weeks have been the most physically and mentally challenging weeks of my life. At the age of fifty-four (fifty-five the day after the show), I am training for a fitness competition. Working out seven days a week while cutting my calories in half. Feeling the fatigue on my body and mindset. I push through every workout, taking one day at a time.

Before starting these last weeks, my major concern was that I would not be able to control myself from all the yummy foods that I love. My deepest fear was that I would get derailed when I saw a piece of cake and would break down and devour it, like Cookie Monster, shoving multiple cookies into his mouth.

I was in the office the first week that I started on the strict eating plan, my coworker walked by with her lunch, I could smell the aroma of the chili as it spread through the air. I imagined I had a spoonful of the sweet, spicy chili with gooey cheese, my taste buds were in heaven. Looking down at my fork, my yumminess would be my five ounces of haddock, half a cup of broccoli, and two tablespoons of avocado. Later that afternoon, I heard popping and the microwave door open, a strong whiff of buttery popcorn was lingering around the office, a heavenly scent. There is no escape I thought. Was I going to make it through the first week, never mind three full weeks?

 I signed up for the competition the first week of my new eating regiment and I thought, no turning back now. I paid a hefty amount for the entrance fee, my evening gown was being picked up in a couple of weeks, and my rental bikini had already been paid. I was in this for the long hall, no matter how rough it possibly could get. And did the first week prove to be a challenge as images of carrot cake, (my favorite cake), peanut M & M’s, veggie pizza, and French toast with lots of sweet syrup running off the sides of the bread would come in waves through my mind.

By week two, I felt mentally stronger because I wanted this goal, and nothing was going to stop me from achieving it. I didn’t crave the mouthwatering foods that I had thought about the first week. It was more of a knowing that I couldn’t eat the forbidden foods that were the challenge. My workouts became more grueling due to my low-calorie intake. I had to keep pushing through even though my legs were fatigued and my arms felt like they wanted to fall off. One day when I was on the Stairmaster, my legs were exhausted. I thought, how can I get the strength to keep going with fifteen more minutes to go. The devil within, my subconscious started its vicious commenting, telling me just quit, it’s only fifteen minutes, no one will know. Got to love that subconscious mind, always there to push you off track, never supportive.

 As week two came to a close, I realized what I knew all along, that one’s mindset can make or break you. Everything we do in life, our subconscious mind plays it’s never-ending games, trying to knock us off course by tying us to all that could go wrong. It’s like poisonous arrows being thrown at us full of self-doubt and fear.

Taking one day at a time instead of looking out at the long road ahead. I broke down each day, making the process appear to be easier and it changed my mindset into thinking, only two more Mondays, only one more Sunday to workout. I won this round and broke my subconscious mind’s deliberate actions to not allow me to succeed in my goal. I took back what has always belonged to me and that is myself deciding to move out of my comfort zone and challenge myself physically and mentally.