Relationship Envy

I pulled into the driveway at 5:20 pm, my friend Kelley was pulling grocery bags from the back of her car. Before I could unbuckle my seat belt and open my door, Mark, her husband dashed out the front door of their home to give Kelley a hand. I watched them as they both laughed and smiled at each other over something Mark said. My eyes and ears froze at the sight of their gentle interaction like a water droplet slowly dripping from an icicle.

Kelley and I were going out for a girl’s night on the town in our small community of ten thousand residents. Sipping our frozen strawberry margaritas, Kelley whips out her left hand and shows me the new diamond ring that Mark had bought her for their tenth anniversary. I didn’t know they made diamonds the size of the rock of Gibraltar. I am happy for Kelley, but I am also a bit jealous of her and Mark’s fantasy-like relationship. My mind fills with thoughts of my own relationship with my husband like a fog slowly moving in over an open field on a damp cool night. I try to push the jealous thoughts from my mind, but I start to want what Kelley and Mark have. They both spend a lot of time together and enjoy the same activities. I want to spend endless hours with my husband and do fun activities too. Don’t get me wrong, my husband and I have a good relationship. We are both independent but come together to do activities and share responsibilities, so as not to put a heavy burden on one another. I am perfectly content in my relationship, but am I? I thought I was until I saw how radiantly happy Kelley and Mark are even after ten years of marriage. Watching Kelley and Mark over the years has made me questions my own relationship with my husband. Maybe relationships are supposed to be like Kelley and Mark’s.

My cell phone rang repeatedly, it was 10:41 pm when I picked up the phone and heard the sobbing voice on the other end. It was Kelley, what’s wrong, did something happen to Mark, I asked. After what seemed like several minutes, Kelley finally got the words out, Mark is moving out permanently. Mark had been having an affair for the past two years and wasn’t happy with Kelley. He didn’t know what he wanted in his life, but he knew Kelley wasn’t going to be part of it. One year after Kelley showed me her beautiful new diamond ring, all was falling apart. My heart sank for Kelley and Mark, they were the perfect couple, or at least I thought they were. Thoughts started rushing through me, like a tornado swirling and picking up objects in its path. After talking with Kelley for almost two hours, I found out that Mark had been unhappy for a long time. He tried to do things that Kelley liked and he thought maybe he would enjoy them too, but he didn’t, he only went along with what Kelley wanted.

All these years, I put Kelley and Mark on a pedestal, like Mt. Everest, how could I ever reach such a peak in a relationship. I no longer question my relationship with my husband. What we have works for us and we are both happy.

I encourage those with partners to look within instead of comparing. Other’s relationships aren’t always as they appear. Let go of relationship envy!